right on target

While I was strolling through Target to find an all-in-one home and car charger for both my iPod and Blackberry I may have meandered towards the clothing section of the store. However, the purchasing of the clothes nor of the electronics was as entertaining as the the conversation that I heard on the journey across the store.

Location: Mens' Undergarments

Subjects: Most likely husband and wife of 30+ years.

Words: Wife, "Which ones do you want?" Husband, "What the heck do I care? You're going to say 'no' anyways" 

Actions: Wife painstakingly focused on picking the perfect next Fruit-of-the-Loom 3-pack of boxers for her husband. 

This, to me, was just absolutely classic on a number of levels. A-Underwear is the closest thing to our body all day long besides that gross (yet somehow intoxicating) "musk" that our beloved men acquire from working outside and she cares more about the manties (panties for men) than he does. B-The look of deliberation on her face said it all - she really does think that this decision is important. Point being that we women are concerned with the littles while most men are focused on the big. While this seems petty and I'm sure that I could just as easily make light of this incident more so than I have already, it shows that it truly takes a good mix of both perspectives to bring out the good in life. 

Untitled

Ideas as short as my attention span...

1. My one-room apartment is no place for a designer who strives for clean lines and simple elegance. Likewise, my one-room apartment is no place to me either. After nearly a year of living in Illinois, I have decided that the lonesome life is not for me. While I continually struggle with the ideas that float in my heart and in my mind, I know with certainty that I am not destine to live merely with my thoughts. 

2. Hair-raising. Thought-provoking. Detest. Contempt. These are words that come to mind when I think of Elmhurst. 

3. I believe in intelligent design. With that said, if americans were a species of our own, I am certain that we are the most basic, un

organized, unintelligent, undeveloped kind of organism on earth. Harsh? Yes, those very words my hurt some. Examples of my words: we, as a society, buy huge "it-makes-me-feel-safe" vehicles 

when the price gasoline is sky-rocketing, visible signs of global warming become increasingly evident daily and our credit-based economy has had the floor taken from under its feet rather than pressure car companies to pursue alternative methods of fuel. The United States is the only developed nation that has chosen not participate in the Kyoto Treaty nor have we established proposed fuel reduction 

goals such as other countries that we, as americans consider to be third-world such as China and Korea. 

4. I do not like big furniture, houses, beds, cars, pillows, diamonds, bathtubs, stuffed animals, photographs or anything that promotes quantity above quality. 

5. Duckies!

What?!

While driving home from visiting a friend this past Saturday I was stopped at a traffic signal. With a look to my right and then to my left I experienced a wave emotions ranging from sadness to pure and outright anger. To my right, a gas station with the price of petro quickly approcaching $4/gallon. To my left, a couple test-driving a Nissan Armada. Yup, that is quite right. While the jaw dropping price of gas makes most of gasp, this family is considering the purchase of this enormous, gas-hogging vehicles to probably taxi their two children to soccer practice and preschool. In two words I can describe this occurrence: unnecessary and ignorant.

Of course, I get it. Our society ingrains that bigger is better, but I completely disagree. I could throw facts and figures your way, but the fact is, we as Americans abuse almost every resource we are given. From buy-more-save-more specials at the grocery store to giant pillows (speaking of, over-sized pillows; I am quite sure the only reason that we need pillow of this size is to compliment out our giant sofas, yet another instance of materialism). 

We accept these ideas and item because they surround us, but are these things necessary?

 • SUVs, minivans/or basically anything bigger than a car for a typical family.

 • Huge homes for the average American family of 3.14 persons.

 • Fast-food portions

 • Huge, faux jewelry (we all know that you cannot afford a 4-carat diamond ring when you have a huge monthly payment on that SUV of yours—you're not foolin' anyone, okay.)

 • Sam's Club / Costco / BJ's Wholesale / Gordon Food Supply (restaurants and food pantries excluded)

 • King-sized beds

 • 18oz margaritas (by the way, there are enough calories in that to technically account for all of your daily recommended intake)

 • Printing your emails (emphasis on the "E," as in electronic!!)

 • Truly the list could and will go on...

While I am on my soapbox, please feel free to use the image below in the signature of your emails. I created it to pass along to others.  I feel that it is a more polite way of saying, "stop printing your damn email!"

new book!

Do you despise ignorant phrases? Trite sayings? Verbs derived from nouns that have no business being such? Melodramatic and unnecessary exaggerations? Work-world redundancies? Insincere and overused strings of words that are supposed to make us feel better? 

Well, then do I have the book for you! 

Accuweather.com editor, Paul Yeager, has compiled an entire book of these horrible abuses of the English language. If you appreciate well-written English, have a slightly sarcastic sense of humor and tend to read and reread your coworkers' emails for grammatical errors, I would recommend this as the next addition to your personal library. 

One time I was sitting at my desk while working in the National Insitute for the Deaf Dean's Office. 

I received a phone call. It was a Rochester Police Detective. 

After the woman mentioned her name and where she was calling from I, for one tiny instance thought that she wanted me to help her solve a murder.

I was wrong. All she wanted was an interpreter. My dreams were crushed. Then I realized that the only experience that I have with police investigation is through Lenny, my hero.

In that second, that tiny little second, I made the decision that watching too much Law and Order can, indeed distort your view of reality. Nevertheless, I was thrilled for that brief span of time where I thought I was an actual detective. 

And that is why you love me, Samuel Thomas Kendall.