As my parents, relatives, fellow peers and others can attest, I was NOT a careful child. Not only was I not very cautious, but I tented to be slightly (ok, very) clumsy. Luckily, God prepared both my parents and myself with a rugged and sturdy frame. As a child, when I found myself hurt, I just got up and moved on. No ice, ibuprofen, or rubbing was needed, I just got up and carried along.
Tonight I was standing in front of the mirror. Just starting at myself - not out of vanity, but mere curiosity. I said to myself, "Can I still do a back bend?" Well it turns out that I can! But I did not learn this until I got over my fear. Fear - this whole fear thing is new to me! Truly it is.
Next i asked myself if I could do a hand-stand. Needless to say, I cannot. Actually while attempting to perform this trick, I actually managed to crack my head on the cement door frame. I'm fine, minus the bruise that is forming, but it made me realize that I have not hurt myself out curiosity in a while. When did this lack of fear and curiosity leave me? Why do I fear failure? As i sat there on the floor, I waited for the pain. As an adult I knew that it would hurt, but the pain was far less than my anticipation of the full effect. The pain was nothing... I have a hard head (apparently I didn't loose that in college). It was the anticipation of the pain that paralyzed me.
To be honest, it feel good to be whacked on the head. While my childish stunt may have caused a bruise on my head, I'm fine, both physically and emotionally. As an adult, maybe I should work harder to stop anticipating what I might feel - because as tonight proved, my curiousity actually taught me something. However, this has always been my way of living... I just have to jump in, head first!
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